Outside the rain beats a gentle rhythm and the sky is a wall of gray—it’s the perfect weather for reflecting on the year.
Years don’t really hold much meaning for me right now—it all seems quite arbitrary. But I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t take part in countdowns or resolutions or feel a slight giddy feeling in my stomach when the ball dropped. So I’ll go along with the trends and the times and dream up the ways in which 2017 won’t be a complete dumpster fire.
Continue reading “2017 Resolutions”
Number of Books Read: 21
Number of Pages Read: 6642
Continue reading “2016 Books in Charts & Graphs”
So I’m here now. It’s the autumn after the summer before and every day I’m living the life that I spent years looking forward to. Sometimes I’ll be walking down the street by myself in this unfamiliar place and everything will click and I’ll realize that this is my life now. I lived through each day to get to the next day and the next and all those days have led me to here. This city, this unfamiliar place that still feels strange to call home. I can’t say it without a bad feeling in my mouth, without a sort of cognitive dissonance. But this is where I’ve always wanted to live so I must love it.
Continue reading “Unfamiliar Feelings in Unfamiliar Places”
It’s summer. What a time to be alive. Out my window all I can see is endless blue and all I can hear are the tinkling sounds of sunny days. The cars breezing by on their way away, the lazy wind chasing after them. Usually I would find some secluded place filled with sunbeams and soak it all in, but this summer is different. This is the summer before ___.
The summer before university, the summer before living on my own, the summer before adulthood, before change, before ends and beginnings. This is the summer with too much to lose and the things that can be gained are still too far away to be tangible.
So here I am, staring into the blue and trying to tie up loose ends. Maybe it would be easier to just cut the strings tying me to this place instead of helplessly trying to salvage them by tying weak knots that will only fray. Perhaps it’s a useless endeavour, trying to pull the past with you into the future. The strings of childhood are too weak to withstand time anyway and dragging them on will only make me more sorry to see them go when they inevitably break.
Summer used to be the haven between changes, the place where I could pause life for a bit, just a bit. But this summer is too rushed, too much like a whirlwind pushing me ever closer to…where exactly? To my next destination, to the stage of where I’m meant to be. Maybe summer finally got tired of being the Stop Between and decided not to be anymore.
Or, maybe I’m just growing up. And growing up means that you can’t always just stare into the blue and listen to the world pass by. Growing up means that you have to become the world and move along with it.
I’m usually late to the game when it comes to the hip new products that cool kids use, and never was this more true than with Spotify. Only today did I discover their “Discover Weekly” playlists, and to say that it has totally revolutionized my musical life would be an understatement. Listening to all these beautifully emotive songs, a memory that is inextricably tied with music suddenly surfaced.
My family loves to take road trips, and one factor that determines whether a trip is memorable or not is its playlist. Cruising down the highway, music floating above your head—why, it’s what all great movie montages are made of. During one particularly long drive down the California interstate, the sun gently shone, the hills serenely rolled by, and We Are Young by fun. blasted all around the small car. I rested my head by my window and watched as the glowing landscape blurred in front of my eyes in this perfect moment. Now the song We Are Young will always be tied with sunny California, peaceful drives, and contentment.
I must admit that I actually forgot I had a blog. It wasn’t a willful forgetting (I’m going to force myself to forget that I tripped and fell in front of the school), or even a temporary one (I’ll just forget that I have homework for the next hour and then remember again). I just…forgot.
And now I’m back again because it’s the time of year for university applications and I’m desperately digging through my old writing hoping for a gem beautiful enough to make admissions officers cry.
Unfortunately, this blog does not have a lot of useable material.
So what have I been doing in the past few months? The short answer: nothing. The long answer: absolutely nothing except a bit of crying. I never was much of a crier until this school year, but research assures me that, the further along you advance in your school career, the more you cry. At least I can be comforted in knowing that I’m not the only one who breaks down in bathroom stalls during English class, unable to handle the stress of anything anymore.
What a comfort.
Well, this is all that my university-obsessed brain and puke out right now. Farewell until next time. Maybe that will be when I’m applying for grad school (assuming that I even make it that far).
How to have fun. Especially useful for those who are A. lonely B. poor C. wondering what the hell they’re doing in life.
1. Screw the living vicariously crap. No one lives vicariously. Just accept that you actually have to do something yourself to have fun.
2. Throw your phone in the toilet.
3. Promptly fish it out and place it in rice because A. that’s not the right way to dispose of a phone and B. don’t be an idiot. You can’t live without that piece of metal.
4. Delete all those social media apps that you endlessly cycle through. Those things suck out years of your life. Every second you spend on it is one second lost. You want to be having fun, not looking at pictures of Katie ziplining through the forest.
5. Determine if you are the type of person to be motivated with positivity or negativity.
5A. If positively, then go to Google Images and type in “people having fun”. Make those pictures your background, print them out and stick them on every surface. Promise yourself that you’ll be like them.
5B. If negatively, search up “people not having fun” instead. Promise yourself that you’ll never be like them.
6. Realize that following a list on how to have fun is stupid and the opposite of what fun is. Anything can be fun if you’ll just stop thinking that nothing is. Stop being an idiot. Get out there (or stay inside) and make your own fun. Go to Wikihow if you’re really that desperate.