How To Have Fun

How to have fun. Especially useful for those who are A. lonely B. poor C. wondering what the hell they’re doing in life.

1. Screw the living vicariously crap. No one lives vicariously. Just accept that you actually have to do something yourself to have fun.

2. Throw your phone in the toilet.

3. Promptly fish it out and place it in rice because A. that’s not the right way to dispose of a phone and B. don’t be an idiot. You can’t live without that piece of metal.

4. Delete all those social media apps that you endlessly cycle through. Those things suck out years of your life. Every second you spend on it is one second lost. You want to be having fun, not looking at pictures of Katie ziplining through the forest.

5. Determine if you are the type of person to be motivated with positivity or negativity.

5A. If positively, then go to Google Images and type in “people having fun”. Make those pictures your background, print them out and stick them on every surface. Promise yourself that you’ll be like them.

5B. If negatively, search up “people not having fun” instead. Promise yourself that you’ll never be like them.

6. Realize that following a list on how to have fun is stupid and the opposite of what fun is. Anything can be fun if you’ll just stop thinking that nothing is. Stop being an idiot. Get out there (or stay inside) and make your own fun. Go to Wikihow if you’re really that desperate.


An Open Letter To Sleep

Dear Sleep,

How are you? How have you been? I haven’t seen you in such a long time. I miss you. And I know that it’s entirely my fault for letting our relationship dwindle, but I’m writing to say that I’m ready to change. I want to be friends again. Remember those lazy summer days and worn out nights? We used to spend so much time together, and now I hardly ever see you except for a few hours each night. I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you when you warned me about School all those years ago, but it just seemed so exciting at the beginning and lured me in with promises of knowledge and friendships. I was very wrong, and believe me when I say that I truly regret ever abandoning you for School, which turned out to just be Homework in disguise.

Please come back to me. I feel so lost without you. I miss you a whole lot.


A Student