2017 Resolutions

2017 Resolutions

Outside the rain beats a gentle rhythm and the sky is a wall of gray—it’s the perfect weather for reflecting on the year.

Years don’t really hold much meaning for me right now—it all seems quite arbitrary. But I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t take part in countdowns or resolutions or feel a slight giddy feeling in my stomach when the ball dropped. So I’ll go along with the trends and the times and dream up the ways in which 2017 won’t be a complete dumpster fire.

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The Comeback

I must admit that I actually forgot I had a blog. It wasn’t a willful forgetting (I’m going to force myself to forget that I tripped and fell in front of the school), or even a temporary one (I’ll just forget that I have homework for the next hour and then remember again). I just…forgot.

And now I’m back again because it’s the time of year for university applications and I’m desperately digging through my old writing hoping for a gem beautiful enough to make admissions officers cry.

Unfortunately, this blog does not have a lot of useable material.

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So what have I been doing in the past few months? The short answer: nothing. The long answer: absolutely nothing except a bit of crying. I never was much of a crier until this school year, but research assures me that, the further along you advance in your school career, the more you cry. At least I can be comforted in knowing that I’m not the only one who breaks down in bathroom stalls during English class, unable to handle the stress of anything anymore.

What a comfort.

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Well, this is all that my university-obsessed brain and puke out right now. Farewell until next time. Maybe that will be when I’m applying for grad school (assuming that I even make it that far).

Another Year, Another List of Unreasonably Optimistic Goals

The only death that doesn’t cause grief is that of a year.

2014 is old and dying and chugging out its last few days, but it goes unnoticed for people are already pushing it aside in anticipation of the New Year. And as I am one of those people, I think it’s high time to get with the crowd and make some New Year’s Resolutions.

I am determined, she says to herself firmly, to actually make reasonable goals and stick to them. I’m going to ignore my track record of the past and say that 2015 looks like a good year for resolutions. Yes, indeed, I’m liking the look of it. So here they are, my definitely doable and not at all unreasonable goals for what I will achieve in the next 365 days or so.

Complete the 50 Books Challenge

Starting this off with a bang. I have no idea what makes me think I can do this, considering that I didn’t even meet my goal of 25 books this year. But go big or go home, right? One book a week isn’t that bad. This is absolutely achievable. Yes. Moving on.

Keep On Blogging Away

For this, I shall keep my standards low. One post a month for twelve months. Easy.

But I actually do want to build my blog. It’s something I enjoy doing so I’m going to put in some effort this year.

The “E” Word

Every New Year’s Resolution list has to have an exercise goal. Mine will be to get at least 150 minutes of “Daily Physical Activity” in every week. I say this because it’s actually a requirement for school and so far I may or may not have been telling untruths. So yes. Exercise. Not at all daunting.

Learn How to Fend For Myself in the Wild (i.e. university)

University is looming ahead (this is a whole other blog post, don’t even get me started), and if I’m going to be living on my own in the future, I’m going to need to be able to sustain myself. That means learning to cook, an area in which I am horribly lacking in skill.

Finally…

It may not be immediately obvious from my previous blog posts about absolutely nothing, but I don’t get out much. I know, surprising. So my last, cliché resolution is simply to enjoy the world more. I will endeavor to get out and explore everything from my own neighbourhood, to my city, to (hopefully) the whole world. And in a way that doesn’t hurt my poor wallet any more than this shopping season has.

There. Five Resolutions. Shouldn’t be too hard, she says desperately trying to reassure herself.

Funny thing: Making this list has gotten me really excited for the coming year. I’m seeing this bright white expanse unfolding before me in my mind, with “2015” hanging over it in marquee lights. I’m getting giddy at the thought of a brand new year. And what a nice number, too.

So, 2014, it has been lovely getting to know you. Although we have had our disagreements, you have treated me well and I will remember you fondly. It is with loving arms that I push you aside and eagerly greet your Heir. 2015, I’m looking forward to a bumpy and beautiful year.

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year!

Wait, I Have A Blog?

So that was, what, one week? It must be a new record.

I have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing them. I see something that motivates me to begin a big project and for a few days it is all I can think about. My energy is spent solely on that one thing, and it becomes a sort of obsession. That was how it was with this blog. For weeks I was completely fixated on documenting my life. My world transformed into a landscape of blog ideas. Everything I set my eye on was a potential post. I was so set on starting this blog that, when I finally did take the plunge, it felt like all the energy I had put into it was washed away with that first click of the Publish button. It wasn’t immediate; the lustre rubbed off slowly. By the second post, it was almost all gone. That, combined with the time-consuming phenomenon of living, left very little desire to keep writing.

Of course, I never intended to stop. When a week had passed since my last post, and I felt that it was about time for another, I did the all too familiar self-promise, where I told myself that’s okay, I’ll do it tomorrow. Then tomorrow turned into a week, which turned into a month, which somehow transformed into two months, which then turned into today.

Actually, I’m only writing this because I got distracted from some schoolwork that I should be doing. But why is this? I know I’m not the only person who starts something with the full intention of following through with it, sees something shiny and new, and promptly abandons the first project. Self-proclaimed experts might assign this short-attention-span routine to my generation, but  I don’t think it is confined to just the people born between this year and that year. Moreover, I also don’t think that it should be seen as a defining characteristic of a generation. It’s a defining characteristic of the world we live in now. The technology of today didn’t exist 50 years ago, and so the opportunities facing us now weren’t available to our grandparents. We have so many choices and so many things we want to do, that it’s easy to get distracted. I’m not saying this is necessarily good or bad, it’s just reality.

However, I digress (as per usual). I’m writing this post as a(nother) promise to myself that I will actually try to keep up with this blog. My life isn’t actually all that interesting though, and my ideas aren’t exactly world-shattering, but I’ll try anyway. Who knows how far I’ll get, but hopefully it will be more than a week.

 

A Proper Beginning

So I figured with this post I should actually talk about who I am and why I made this blog and important things like that. You know, as opposed to going on about how I can’t write a decent post. Which is a given, so really I should just accept it and move on to other things.

 

First, the basics.

My name is Josie. I live in Canada. I am in my teenage years of life. I am 5’1″, which is a constant source of despair for me.

Now the things that are actually important.

My favourite word is “melancholy”. I love to read. I hate the colour orange, unless it’s in the sky or fruit. I am left-handed. I put my toilet paper facing down. I have a pet bird. I am a die-hard nerdfighter. I don’t know how to whistle. Now you know everything there is to know about me.

 

There were two catalysts that sparked the making of this blog. 1. My birthday is coming up. 2. I have recently been reading a lot of Dickinson, specifically the poem If I should die¹. These two events have combined to make me realize that, like it or not, I am getting older and if I should die (haha) tomorrow, I would like a little piece of me to live on in the world. On the flip-side however, if I don’t die tomorrow I want to be able to look back on today knowing that it existed, and that I did something. And what better proof of that then a poorly written, sorta-not-really entertaining blog?²

So what should you expect from here? I’m not really sure yet, but mostly more rambling, attempts to form my jumbled thoughts into sentences, and chronicles of my search for the elusive something, as said in the paragraph above. I also really like books and travelling, so there might be posts about those things in the future too. However, I don’t actually know what exactly I want to talk about, but I imagine that as somethings happen to me, I’ll transform those into words and immortalize it on the internet. Hopefully.

 

 

Melancholy melancholy melancholy melancholy melancholy melancholy melancholy

 

 

 

¹If I should die by Emily Dickinson

²As you go on reading said blog, you’ll find that I’m all about the self-deprecation. It’s one of my only joys in life.

Beginnings (or “Insert Cliché Title”)

I made this blog weeks ago, and since then I’ve been trying to come up with the perfect first post. It has to be awe-inspiring, witty, and sum up my entire personality in less than 200 words, I said to myself.

Days have wasted away and still all I had was an empty screen and a disheartened soul. So today I said, forget it, I’m just going to throw a bunch of words onto the screen and hope that it sounds coherent. Who cares if it’s not Pulitzer Prize worthy? (One day…)

So here it is. Welcome, valued reader, to my little corner of the internet. I have no idea how in the world you managed to stumble upon me, but props to you, and I hope you like it enough to stay. Or at least tolerate it and come back when you have nothing better to do.

Tune in next time for more semi-intelligible rambling and documentation of my life passing by as I try to get some worth out of it.